N2P 035: Police Encounters and Questionable Activities with Special Guest Danielle

  • Tello wants to confirm with Lourdes what she counts as the beginning of Number Two Podcast: the first episode they uploaded to YouTube, or the first time they had an official podcast feed. Lourdes counts the first time they uploaded to YouTube which means that March 9th will be the one year anniversary of Number Two Podcast.
  • Lourdes and Tello are joined by special guest Danielle (Tello’s niece).
  • As usual, Number Two Cuz starts talking about number two stories. Little Luis asked his mom to smell the bathroom after he pooped because he didn’t think it stunk.
  • Lourdes begins describing a new healthy recipe she tried which included asparagus, and Tello gets sidetracked on how asparagus makes his pee smell. Lourdes is unaware of this phenomenon.
  • Danielle admits that her pee sometimes smells like coffee; Lourdes admits that her urine sometimes smells like coffee too. Tello is in shock because he’s not a coffee drinker and is unfamiliar with that phenomenon.
  • Lourdes claims that the women’s restroom at work sometimes smells like a fresh brewed pot of coffee.
  • Tello asks Number Two Cuz to pull the microphone closer because she’s too far away.
  • Tello reveals to the audience that Danielle’s mother is none other than Martha (a.k.a. Marva), friend/enemy of the show.
  • Family members are complaining about the price of Number Two Podcast shirts, but that’s the cheapest price Tello can price them. They’re currently on sale for $12.99 each (www.campfyrepod.com/merch)
  • Lourdes continues with her healthy soup recipe with chicken broth. Tello suggests using bone broth instead for its health properties and taste.
  • Tello’s skin has been breaking out recently. Lourdes thinks it’s from the high fat Keto diet, but Tello retorts with his usual witty manner. Lourdes suggested Tello quit eating so much fat.
  • Lourdes asks Danielle if and how she has managed conflict in her workplace.
  • Danielle admits that she’s a good employee and easy to get along with, so she’s never had to deal with such issues in the workplace.
  • Tello suspects that this is a loaded question that is really about Lourdes.
  • Tello talks about a prior job where he had to sell shoes where he didn’t enjoy putting people’s shoes on them unless they were pretty women with nice feet.
  • Lourdes doesn’t know which phrase is correct: “a rule of thumb,” or “a thumb of rule.”
  • Tello tries desperately to convince her that the correct phrase is “a thumb of rule.”
  • Danielle talks about her stressful situation when she and her friends recently got pulled over by police. Three police cars showed up for a driver who allegedly was doing 10 miles over the speed limit.
  • Tello suggested that anytime you are pulled over, you should turn on your dome light and put your hands where the police can see them so they know you are not a threat to them. This is not just for their safety, but for the driver’s and passenger’s’ safety too.
  • Tello talks about how he always feels nervous any time he is pulled over by police. Recently Tello was recently pulled over, and in nervous confusion, Tello handed the policeman his debit card instead of his license. The policeman responded that he didn’t accept Visa.
  • Lourdes daughters accidentally interrupt the show because they were teaching Priscila how to drive.
  • Priscila is having problems with oversteering.
  • Lourdes talks about hearing random gunshots in her neighborhood, but she has no ending for that story.
  • Lourdes bought an “A La Muerte” shirt to support the show, but it reminds her daughter of the Mexican saying “A La V***a” which has a dirty translation of “weiner” in it.
  • The conversation gets further sidetracked as Lourdes tries to give Spanish translations for a woman’s private parts.
  • Tello talks about his heartbreak about not being able to make “A La Muerte” into a web series or short film.
  • Lourdes’ daughters don’t have a problem with bathroom privacy, and Danielle admits to not having an issue with bathroom privacy with her close friends.
  • Lourdes and Tello talk about how they enjoy their privacy in the bathroom.
  • When Tello was a kid, he was taking a poop and made his cousin pee in the bathtub so he wouldn’t have to stop pooping.
  • Lourdes reminisces about the innocence of a child and being able to run around with no shame…until they started getting bumps.
  • Danielle will be turning 21 this year. Lourdes and Tello offer safety advice on how to handle drinking at 21.
  • Lourdes claims that she didn’t get a real desire to start drinking until she was in her 30s. Tello joked that she should start smoking weed in her 40s.
  • Danielle tells some alleged stories of her trip to Colorado.
  • Number Two Cuz gives the great advice not to buy drugs for underage kids.
  • Tello recounts a time when he and some of the family shared a smoke, and the funny things that happened.
  • Lourdes tells a personal story of the dangers of drug use.
  • Number Two Cuz talks about a friend whose husband planted a marijuana plant so he could keep her calm.
  • Lourdes and Tello talk about jobs they’ve worked where they suspect the workers have dipped out to smoke more than tobacco.
  • Lourdes is working on a tribute speech to Saint (Mother) Teresa. Tello playfully berades Lourdes for not picking someone who has contributed more to the world like Steve Jobs.
  • Tello and Danielle have to finish their respective defensive driving tests.
  • Lourdes sometimes feels like she has testicles.
  • Number Two Cuz seems upset because her husband has gained some weight.
  • Lourdes recounts her drunken stuper in Vegas again. She also recalls members of her group taking photos with Vegas strippers.

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